alayna06’s Blog

“Honey, you need to wake up.” I opened my eyes to a teacher of mine, she had a sad and worried expression on her face. “What’s wrong, where’s Sarah?”, I asked frantically. My teacher, Mrs. Parks, turned toward the nurse who was just a few feet away from me with a wet washcloth. “Sweetheart, I need you to sit up, here, put this on your head.” I was confused and wasn’t sure of where I was. “Alayna, you need to drink some water”. I shot up, angry and confused. More so than I had ever ben in my entire thirteen years of life. “No!” I screamed. “Where’s my best friend? My eyes were filling up with tears with every word. “Where is Sarah!” At that point I was hysterical, screaming, crying and having a meltdown in the middle of our schools twelve by twelve health room. Mrs. Parks wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face, knowing that she had to tell me. “Alayna, Sarah was very sick. You reacted the best way anyone could when she collapsed in our hallway this morning.” She paused for a brief moment. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, and I could feel the saltiness of my tears on my lips. “She was very weak, and there was nothing any of the doctors could do”. I couldn’t handle the truth, I knew what was about to come out of her mouth. I remember telling myself that it was just a bad dream, a horrible nightmare that I was going to wake up from any minute. My teacher glanced at me, teary-eyed, she started to speak again. “Sarah is gone Alayna, she passed away about twenty minutes ago. Her family was with her so she didn’t die alone. I called your father and he should be here any minute to come get you”. I didn’t want to leave, but i couldn’t speak. We sat there in silence for a few moments. Finally I glanced up to see my father, out of breath and wide-eyed. The school hadn’t told him much, just that I had fainted in the office and he needed to come pick me up right away. My dad and i had never had a good relationship, but seeing him standing there i was in shock. As we walked to the car I was on a roller coaster of emotions. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t even feel myself move. I was completely numb. My dad helped me into the car. “I’m sorry Alayna”, he repeated over and over again. “I’m so sorry”. We sat there in the quiet for a moment. Tears were rolling down my face like a waterfall. I had a lump in my throat like after you dry swallow a big pill. I remember wondering why she would do this to me. How could she leave me all alone in this world without my best friend. As selfish as it was, I was angry with her. She had been struggling, in pain, and sick for months, and I was mad at her for leaving me. “I should’ve done something! I should’ve told someone! I should’ve saved her! I screamed. My words seemed to echo in our black tahoe. My dad, unaware of what to do, just looked at me with a blank stare. I repeated the same sentence, mumbling it to myself for a while. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I turned around to see not just a school, but memories. Our first boyfriends, our first school dance, and the tree where we had planned to have our first kisses under someday. It was hard to believe that I wasn’t going to walk to all my classes, arm in arm with my best friend. Laughing, gossiping, and joking the whole way. I was going to open up my locker monday morning and see all of our funny pictures, her gym clothes, all of her school books, and know that she would never be with me again. I would never see her, ever again. My life had changed, and I knew that that would last forever.